rabbit
Rating: 23 point(s) | Read and rate text individuallyWhat do you get if you cross a rabbit with a stone? No, I don't know either.
Amount of texts to »rabbit« | 18, and there are 16 texts (88.89%) with a rating above the adjusted level (-3) |
Average lenght of texts | 291 Characters |
Average Rating | 2.389 points, 2 Not rated texts |
First text | on Apr 30th 2000, 12:14:44 wrote blöök! about rabbit |
Latest text | on Jul 17th 2018, 09:29:46 wrote norm about rabbit |
Some texts that have not been rated at all
(overall: 2) |
on Aug 22nd 2006, 00:33:52 wrote
on Jul 17th 2018, 09:29:46 wrote |
What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a stone? No, I don't know either.
A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over tothe side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to
cry.
A blonde woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
»I feel terrible,« he explained, »I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it.«
The blonde told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.
Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. Fifty feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 feet. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, »What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?«
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: »Hair Spray Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave...«
Rabbit remembers me to »Alice In Wonderland« and so on to »Alice Behind The Mirrors«. Well, did I tell you 'last about the Jabberwocky?
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand
Long time the manxome foe he sought -
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
'And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
~
In the French West Indies, it is suggested that one not buy rabbit (lapin) in a supermarket unless the package also contains the head.
Otherwise it might be cat (chat).
Also suggested is a creamy Dijonnaise sauce and a nice chardonnay.
The monkey gave the poor starving old man a gift of fruit.
The fox gave him a gift of fish.
The poor rabbit, not being able to find anything suitable, had the monkey and the fox build a fire, and, leapt onto the fire to cook himself as a gift for the old man.
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