Kung-fu

Kung fu is so much more than breaking planks with your forehead. It means »hard work,« and applies to everything in one's life. If you work hard at being a good cook, you are kung fu cook. If you work hard at being a good parent, you are kung fu parent. The brucelee-stuff is fun, but it really has little to do with the overall essence of kung fu.

i learnt kung-fu in a supermarket. a group of angry terrorist arrived in the groceries section, irritated at the way these huge corporations were taking over towns, growing and growing, so that the growth of their exploitation (i.e. in the third world) could grow too. i did not feel that i could join them, because i shopped here, and it was conveniant, and i did not wish to only enlarge my hypocrisy.

instead, i practised my kicks on the terrorists. i realised that i had become quite good, so i made a belt out of black curtain-material. i wear it everywhere.

I once heard about a kung-fu master who trained himself by punching into a barrel of water 500 times a day. When he got stronger, he switched to a barrel of beans. Then, sand. I have been attempting to duplicate this kung-fu training by punching into a barrel of sawdust. However, I cannot do it 500 times a day. I can only do it a few times, every once in a while, when no one is around. This is because all my barrels of sawdust are at work.

We learn from the movies that when 15 kung-fu experts attack you at one time, they will wait patiently for you to disable them.