Filch

»It’s obvious to me that if you really want to be cool, if you really want to be the shit, what you need to do is something, something like wait 20 yrs. until all these hipsters tattoos become faded and stretched out like some cows udder been milked, bovine growth formulaed till you wanna puke, been milked with a machine for a lifespan. Till the rods they stuck through their nipples & cocks & scrotum walls have been chucked for some new post victorian phase of labial reconstruction. These little girls will wake in a gush, some crimson sea tween their legs, some 4am hour and realize they want to breed. It’ll be some electrochemical pulse which’ll make em all jump together like some shit grey lemmings and then, then, that’s when you wanna be hanging up your shingle ‘Fuckin Modern Primitives Anonymous’ getting into the plastic surgery biz like fuck’n fixing a wall been kicked got a hole cut a patch a drywall fit it in and slap some shit on it and make it look nice and then some cheap bastard crashes his beamer says he can’t pay ya but you’re fucking his wife, you got the shit, the ride, and he’s lying through his soon to be messed up perfect white teeth but you got the business man, that’s the business, just you wait all you’ll need is to be the man they go to when they want to fix their dicks get their teets back in shape so they can suckle some shrimp. So all over amerika they’ll be getting the urge to scronk and they’ll be saying ‘Fuck that birth control shit’ and they’ll be coming to you saying ‘Do me dude.’ And that’s, that’s when you got it.«

it's not a THRILL not a BUZZ not a GOOD WAY TO ACQUIRE ALL THE EYELINER YOU COULD EVER USE not IMPRESSIVE not THE ONLY WAY SOMEONE YOUR AGE IS GONNA GET ALCOHOL TONIGHT not PRACTICE FOR BEING A STAGE MAGICIAN – it's a crime and

You

WILL

Be

MARTYRED

To

The

Myth

Of

Ownership

I wouldn't trust her. She's a miscreant and a thief. She'd filch your mother's underpants from beneath her if you turned your back.